If you are new to strapons and are looking for some tips this article is for you! The strap-on is a great tool for enhancing couple intimacy, connecting with your partner, and for experiencing pleasure in a different way.
Let’s start with basics, what’s a strap-on?
A strapon is a sextoys used to give penetrative pleasure to our partner. There are different kinds, but to keep it simple, it’s a wearable dildo, usually supported by a harness or a brief. Among the main advantages of using a strap-on, we should definitely mention how it can help you be more connected with your partners, stimulate genitalia hands-free (which means that they can be used for more stuff) and it can allow you to explore your sexuality differently, even allowing you to experience pleasure simultaneously
Step-by-step guide on how to use a strap-on
1. Communicate with your partner
The first step is always to communicate your desires to your partner. Introducing the conversation about how and whether to use a strap-on can create tensions in the couple and generate insecurity. Therefore, you should always make sure that your partner feels appreciated and understood and that the introduction of the toy is beneficial to both partners. Do not be afraid to open up and express yourself as you are with your fantasies, the right partner for you will be ready to welcome them. Welcoming them does not necessarily mean finding an affirmative answer from the other side, it rather means being open to dialogue and confrontation.
So in short you can start the conversation by first asking your partner if there are desires that they themselves would like to express, predisposing yourself to listen to your partner will help to be heard.
2. Choose the good strap-on for you
As mentioned, there are many types of strap-ons available on the market, but not all of them are suitable for all bodies. Doing a detailed search for the most suitable one for us can take a lot of time and can put people off, so we have written a small guide on how to choose a strap-on, what to take into account when buying, and what positions the different types are best suited for.
3. Prepare before using a strap-on
Once you have made the decision to use the strap-on and have made the right choice, it is time to take action. The big question: at what time should I wear the strap-on? Before starting to heat up? When we are at the peak of excitement? Do we need to decide upfront whether we are going to use a strap-on or not? Of course, there is no one answer and it also depends on the type of strap-on used. For example, a strap-on with a classic harness strap-on, may take several minutes of preparation before being put on properly, a strapless strap-on may be quicker and a Ma Joie strap-on can be put on in a click. In any case, always remember that the most important thing is to use clean dildos and toys, previously sanitized with products suitable for vaginal or anal pH, we recommend washing the toys with mild soaps and water or with products suitable for washing sextoys, mind you, do not use alcohol-based products, never never never! Remember to wash the toys before and after use and keep them in a clean place. The more carefully you store them, the shorter the preparation time.
4. Don’t forget the lub!
Although your partner may be very turned on by the idea of trying the strap-on, continuous friction with a larger object can create discomfort. Equip yourself with lubricant; we recommend water-based and non-silicone-based lubricants. With water-based lubricants there is less risk of allergies and the dildo will last longer. Lubricant is NEVER ENOUGH especially the first few times and especially if we are practicing anal sex.
5. Remember to stimulate your partner’s vulva
It is important to focus on the pleasure of our partners and devote ourselves to clitoral stimulation before moving on to a penetrative phase, which we can also begin by using our hands before using the dildo.
It is important in all these phases to let your partner guide you, always make sure that the stimulation is the desired one, there are no real rules to follow from A to Z, but surely the only one to always keep in mind is that of consent. Ask, ask, ask, you are not less cool or insecure, you are caring* attentive and want to make your partner comfortable.
When you feel ready* you put on your strapon (which in the case of Ma Joie you can hook to your panty with a very simple click and without interrupting the flow of the moment).
Although porn has accustomed us to athletic performances, in truth you don't need to be a marathon runner. Go at the pace that is most comfortable for you, but above all that is appropriate for your partner. Avoid the bunny effect; slow and steady wins the race. Start with a simple position, such as missionary, and take time to adjust to your partner. Always remember that in addition to penetration, what always matters is contact with the clitoris, so try to keep the pubis in contact with your partner's. Change position and reverse top and bottom to share the cardio effort, if you are in a position where your body is not contact with the clitoris, do not hesitate to help you with your hands or tell your partner to do so - remember that you are in partnership and not in competition. Otherwise, focus on pleasure and not performance.
6. Try pegging
Whether you are having anal sex with your partner or pegging with your him, the previous rules apply: communication, extra cleanliness (especially afterwards), going step by step and using lots of lubricant. For anal penetration here, too, we can start by stimulating the perineum with the hand and then move to an initial penetrative phase using the hands (don't forget the lubricant under any circumstances!). For anal stimulation, especially for beginners we recommend the use of small dildos, maximum 7 cm, when we are more comfortable later we can experiment with other sizes as well.
7. Getting to the climax with a strap-on
During penetration we can use other toys that can facilitate the achievement of orgasm, such as clitoral suckers for partners with vulvas or vibrating rings in the case of partners with penises. Let yourself be carried away by the moment, connect with your eyes to your partner, remember that the ultimate goal of sex is not orgasm (which yes that should also be achieved) but don't be afraid if during the first experience with the strapon it doesn't happen, you can experiment, use it for a short time, and then integrate it more and more or use it only for the final climax, in short the possibilities are endless, the motto for a breathtaking experience is listen to yourself and let yourself go.
Conclusions
A strap-on is a great way to build connection with your partner, enhance intimacy, add a little spice, and experience new things. Once you have chosen the right strap-on for you, the most important thing is to communicate with your partner throughout the relationship and adapt to the needs of both of you. Always remember to clean the toys well before and after and do not hesitate to use lubricant, especially if you are having anal sex. Using strap-ons is not a performance, but it is just another way to experience pleasure for two - at least if you use Ma Joie strap-ons or those that provide stimulation for both partners- so focus on your own pleasure and that of your partner, without stressing about how you are doing.